First, a little background: We don’t do Santa at our house. We all make or get presents for each other. All of our children are almost as excited about the gifts they are giving as they are about what they might get. I’ve been teasing the kids all week by telling them that if I couldn’t find anything cool to give them I would just give them all coloring books. Not that coloring books would be a bad gift. But they have received a number of coloring books for birthdays and such and I know that it really isn’t something they want.

It’s Christmas Eve.

With some of our extended family we’ve shared a meal, had a nice time singing Christmas Carols around the piano, and re-enacted the story of Christ’s birth while reading the account from the New Testament.

Throughout the evening our youngest son, who will turn five years old in February, has not wanted to participate.

As I try to get him ready for bed, we have the following conversation:

Me: “Son, you need to go to bed now so you can wake up early tomorrow to open your presents.”

Son: “I’m not tired yet.”

Me: “But don’t you want to go to sleep so you can wake up early for Christmas and get your coloring book?”

Son: “I don’t want a coloring book for Christmas.”

Then he pauses, looks up into my face with a compassionate smile, and says with absolute sincerity:

“It’s okay, dad. I love you even if you only get me a coloring book.”

Then he throws his arms around me and hugs me close.

Choking up, I hug him back.

Me: “I love you too!”

Best Christmas present ever. Eat your heart out Santa!

I did get him something better than a coloring book. But he doesn’t know that yet.

“At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

“And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.”

“Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.”

“But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

- Matthew Chapter 18 verses 1 through 6

The Creator of all literally became a little child. And they laid him in a manger because their was no room at the inn. And he did it because he loves us.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

The Church has released a new manual specifically for the Nursery:

Behold Your Little Ones

Behold Your Little Ones PDF

A few years ago, my wife and I were called as the Nursery Leaders for our LDS congregation. We had just moved into the ward from another part of town where I had just been a nursery worker for the last year. I spent a total of two and a half years working in the Nursery.

As nursery leaders, we found that it was very important to have a consistent, repeated order of short activities every week. The small children would quickly come to anticipate the order and it made it much easier for them to adjust to having their parents leave them for a while. They were comfortable because they knew what to expect and that it would be the same each Sunday.

In some congregations we had seen a tendency to assume that the children were too young to teach and as a result the Nursery workers would often just pull out a bunch of toys and sit around chatting while the children played, punctuated by a short snack time. Going against this trend, we also felt that it was important not to underestimate the ability of these small children to learn the Gospel and feel the Holy Spirit. So among our weekly activities we would present a short, organized lesson, based on the previous manual, beginning and ending the lesson with a prayer offered by two of the children.

It was great to see that the new Behold Your Little Ones manual clarifies that the “nursery class should provide a loving, safe, organized learning experience for the children.” It emphasizes that “This time should be separated into several segments, such
as lesson time, snack time, music time, and playtime…. Children respond well to consistency, so follow the same order each week.” It also suggests that you “provide the children with a routine that helps them change from one segment to another.”

The Manual also insists that nursery workers “ask parents if there are any foods they do not want their children to eat.” We found that this is really important. Food often has a strong effect on children, and some kids have specialized dietary needs or allergies. Some parents simply have different nutritional standards and you shouldn’t be giving candy to their children without their approval. Even though many nursery workers do it, in general it is probably not a good idea to give the kids candy for a snack at all, even if the parents approve. The new manual emphasizes that the snack should be “healthy” and in our experience the simple sugars in candy can have negative effects on the short term behavior of some children, which can complicate having them in nursery.

The new manual has lessons designed specifically for the nursery age group to “help nursery-age children learn basic doctrines of
the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.” This really should be the purpose of nursery.

Something that we didn’t do that the new manual suggests is using the scriptures during the lesson. “Use the scriptures as you teach the children. When a lesson suggests that you tell a story from the scriptures, open the scriptures and point to the place where the story is found. This helps the children understand that what you are teaching comes from the scriptures.”

Another interesting instruction in the manual is that when teaching lessons, leaders are to “be sensitive to the home and family situations of the children. When a lesson refers to the children’s parents or families, consider the feelings of any children
who are being raised by a single parent, by grandparents, or by other family members.”

The manual also has some great tips for teaching gospel oriented music. Another helpful section lists common problems and suggested solutions.

Also interesting is that the manual includes a letter to be given to parents of children who are about to enter the primary. It outlines things parents can do to prepare their children for nursery and the responsibilities parents have for their children during nursery, including “[remaining] in the nursery class with your child if he or she is afraid.

The letter also emphasizes that the parents should not bring sick children to nursery and includes a list of symptoms that parents should keep in mind.

Being a Nursery worker should be a lot more than baby-sitting. It is an opportunity to teach the Gospel and help children feel the Holy Ghost. It requires as much work, preparation, and inspiration as other callings in the church, and it can be just as rewarding and fulfilling.

Encourage your Primary President and Bishop to get the Behold Your Little Ones manual and implement it in your Nursery.

First, a little background:

A few years back, the Marriage and Family class at our LDS church was taught by sister Williams, who is a professional psychiatrist working with young, recently married couples at BYU. She had lots of wonderful insights, both as a marriage dynamics professional and a gospel instructor, that have stuck with me ever since.

Among the many topics she presented, one discussed studies that indicated that some parents were enforcing the virtue of “sharing” upon their children so much that their children were growing up with a deficient, warped, or even nonexistent concept of personal property. As a result, these children who lacked a sense of property were less likely to respect the property of others and more likely to steal or vandalize.

My own parents had been careful about how much we were forced to “share” our toys.

With our own children, we have tried to teach that their belongings really do belong to them, and that, while sharing is the right thing to do, we will not force them to share against their will. After all, what virtue is there in sharing unless you have the choice not to share? And if no property is ever your own to withhold, then what beneficence is there in giving?

With that, I want to recount a funny exchange between our six-year old daughter, B., and our four-year old daughter, E.:

Yesterday afternoon, I came upon the two of them arguing.

“What are you fighting about?” I asked.

“E. said that I can only use her nail polish if I let her put it on me!” B. complained.

(Despite my best intentions, our young girls somehow own their own nail polish. Heavy Sigh.)

“It’s mine, ” said E., ” I can do what ever I want with it.”

“It is hers, ” said I, “It would be nice of her to share it, but she can choose not to. Instead of getting angry, B., why don’t you try to convince her that she should should share it. Try to give her some good reasons why she should let you use it.”

“When I share my things with you, I don’t make you use them the way I want to,” said B. thoughtfully.

“This is just the way that I am made!” retorted E.

“You can choose how you want to be, E.” I encouraged, a little alarmed that our four-year old was already espousing determinism to defend her desire not to do something!

“If you wont let me put your polish on, then I’m not going to share with you anymore,” B. said calmly, falling back on a sense of justice.

“That would be a natural thing to do, and would be fair for you to do that,” I told B. “But Jesus taught us that we should be kind to people even when they are unkind to us.”

B. thought for a moment and said, “E., I will still share my things with you, even though you wont share with me.” She wanted to do what was Christian, but at the same time it was obvious that she was hoping that the show of charity would prompt her sister to respond in kind.

But her hopes were frustrated. E. obstinately refused to modify her position (after all, she is four).

The conversation shifted briefly to another topic. B. was talking about how, like air, we can’t see Jesus but He exists. Then a new approach occurred to her:

“E., you believe in Jesus don’t you?” probed B.

“Yes,” E. responded definitively.

“Well if Jesus was you, would He let me use the nail polish?” B. asked. She knew she had her.

(I made a mental note to remember to someday teach B. how to properly use the subjunctive.)

Without even a moment’s hesitation, E. responded:

“Boys don’t have nail polish!”

I laughed at the brilliant rejoinder! B. tried to rephrase her argument, but it was too late. And moments later that topic had passed as their attention moved on to other toys (partially due to my delighted laughter).

I love my kids!

There is a balance to be stricken between the freedom to choose and the extent to which morality must be enforced. The argument about where the fulcrum of that balance should lie is ongoing from the scope of the individual family all the way up to national and international law.

In one of my favorite essays of all time, Areopagitica , John Milton argued:

If every action, which is good or evil in man at ripe years, were to be under pittance and prescription and compulsion, what were virtue but a name, what praise could be then due to well-doing, what gramercy to be sober, just, or continent? Many there be that complain of divine Providence for suffering Adam to transgress; foolish tongues! When God gave him reason, he gave him freedom to choose, for reason is but choosing; he had been else a mere artificial Adam, such an Adam as he is in the motions. We ourselves esteem not of that obedience, or love, or gift, which is of force: God therefore left him free, set before him a provoking object, ever almost in his eyes; herein consisted his merit, herein the right of his reward, the praise of his abstinence. Wherefore did he create passions within us, pleasures round about us, but that these rightly tempered are the very ingredients of virtue?
.
They are not skillful considerers of human things, who imagine to remove sin by removing the matter of sin; … Though ye take from a covetous man all his treasure, he has yet one jewel left, ye cannot bereave him of his covetousness. Banish all objects of lust, shut up all youth into the severest discipline that can be exercised in any hermitage, ye cannot make them chaste, that came not hither so; such great care and wisdom is required to the right managing of this point. Suppose we could expel sin by this means; look how much we thus expel of sin, so much we expel of virtue: for the matter of them both is the same; remove that, and ye remove them both alike.

We punish the thief, burglar, and vandal. Some would also force the miser to mete out his hoard and the greedy to give alms. All choices have consequences, but some consequences should be administered by government, and others happen naturally without the imposition of authority.

How we decide which is which is a complicated question. We return to the original assertion of sister Williams and see that, as is not uncommon in the world, the formation of morality is a complex, interconnected feedback loop; We must be ever careful that by enforcing one aspect of morality that is best left to choice and consequence we do not inadvertently loosen the strictures on another aspect.

Ideally we should be encouraging children to build moral character from which moral behavior can flow, rather than to produce superficial moral behavior that will disappear as soon as the constraint of supervision is removed. Unless our children have real choices with real consequences, that cannot happen.

To do that we need the help of God, the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, and the atonement of Jesus Christ.

The storytelling festival is absolutely awesome! If you have never been, and can be in Utah County this week, it really is worth checking out.

Every year, they invite ten or so of the most accomplished national and even international storytellers to come to Utah to teach workshops and perform for the festival. The festival is well known among professional storytellers, and each year the tellers comment on how impressive the event is when compared to similar events nation wide. Thousands of people attend.

Most of the daytime events are held at the beautiful new Mt. Timpanogos Park, just up the mouth of Provo Canyon, which Orem City built specifically for the festival. Large evening performances are in the SCERA Shell Amphitheater at SCERA Park in Orem.

My Puppetry Troupe, Maxed Out Puppetry, has performed as part of the festival as local entertainment, for at least six years.

This year, though, we have the first-time opportunity to provide the pre-show entertainment for the Bedtime Stories event on Friday Night at 5:30pm. It should be a ton of fun.

Additionally I will be performing briefly on Saturday Morning at 11:00am with local, professional Mime, Joe Flores. Joe has been teaching me mime on and off for the last few years, and I have performed with him periodically before. Mime is such a cool form for theater. And the kids love it.

If you have never been to the festival before, I recommend going to the “Laughin’ Night” event at the SCERA Shell on Saturday night. The ten featured storytellers each tell their funniest stories. You’ll laugh until you choke. Tickets for just that event are available.

You can find out all about the festival at www.TimpFest.org .

See you there!

My cousin Rus Wilson, his wife Kelly, my close friend Sean Healy, my wife Chastity, and I founded the Maxed Out Puppetry – Puppet Comedy Troupe nearly a decade ago while still students and recent graduates of Brigham Young University. Since then we have performed at museums, libraries, festivals, parties, churches, and many other venues, primarily in Utah County, but also as far north as the Davis County Library in Layton and as far south as Filmore.

Since then we have been joined by additional puppeteers: Caitlin Shirts, Patrick Svensson, and David Wilson.

We are very excited to present our brand-spanking-new website:

www.MaxedOutPuppetry.com

As usual, the website is still partially under development, but it already has some fun features.

For the first time, those of you outside of Utah can enjoy Maxed Out Puppetry’s original material. The website features a Video Section with streaming video to which we hope to add continually. So far, the response from kids and adults who have visited the video section has been excellent.

You can subscribe to the video podcast with iTunes or another podcatcher and watch the videos on your video enabled iPod. For those of you who, like me, don’t have an iPod, you can still subscribe to the normal video feed with a feed reader like Google Reader. For those who like it even more basic, you can even subscribe to receive notifications of new videos in your email.

For those of you who do live in Utah, the website also features a Calendar where you can find out about upcoming live performances. Like the video, you can subscribe to the calendar with a feed reader or by email to keep abreast of upcoming events.

One additional, experimental feature is a new Puppet Blog, where the puppets themselves will be posting thoughts, observations, and responding to questions and fan mail from visitors. This represents a creative writing endeavor for the members of our puppet troupe.

Two of our puppets will be traveling to Europe at the beginning of September and posting a puppet travelogue, we hope along with some video.

The Puppet Blog also features RSS Feed and Email Subscriptions to help you keep up with new posts.

Feel free to let me know if you run into any bugs on the website.

So gather your kids around the computer and check out some Maxed Out Puppet Videos, then come back to see what is happening on the Puppet Blog, or to find out about upcoming shows. Also feel free to have your children send questions, comments, or fan mail to the puppets through the contact form on the website.

A big thanks to all of you who have supported our quirky hobby through the years! It’s has been, and hopefully will continue to be, a blast!

PS – www.MaxedOutPuppetry.com is rated PG – “Puppet Guidance Suggested” for moderate puppet violence and imitate-able behavior)